4.24.2009

how bromantic


Have any of you seen the new flick “I Love You Man”? If not, here’s the premise (via IMDB):

Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) goes on a series of man-dates to find a best man for his wedding. But when his insta-bond with his new BFF (Jason Segel) puts a strain on his relationship with his fiancée, can the trio learn to live happily ever after?

In the movie theater, with a Diet Coke the size of your head and buttery popcorn flowing like wine, this storyline is hilarious. Sweet guy meets crazy guy, they get drunk, play air guitar, ride around on a vespa together, talk in funny accents. I mean, really—what’s not to love?

The thing is, though, in the real world, I don’t find this situation funny at all. In fact, I find it strange and, I gotta be honest, a wee bit uncomfortable. I don’t know why this is exactly. I mean, I grew up with three brothers who all embrace the idea of the “man date,” but for some reason, bromances totally weird me out.

After analyzing this for a bit, I think there are three main issues I have with dude-plus-dude friendships:

#1 The Laziness.
When women get together, we may spend the day relaxing, but we do so in a productive way. We run errands together, return items to the mall, go for a walk—even if we’re simply meeting for dinner or drinks, we’re still checking something off of our list of things to do, even if that item is just to spend some time with our good friend, listening to what is going on in her life.

When men get together, on the other hand, the #1 goal is to accomplish as little as possible. For example, a while back when I had to spend my entire weekend working, Anson and his BFF, Mike (whose wife was also busy working), decided it would be the perfect occasion to have a Wii tournament at our apartment. Mike (the cooky Jason Segel of this scenario) got to our house at 7 am and they proceeded to play Wii for the next 14 hours straight. When they’d had enough, rather than calling it a day and being productive, they walked over to the local strip mall, found a hole-in-the-wall bar and decided to play Golden Tee for a few more hours. This, ladies, makes absolutely no sense to me. Actually, I think it’s ridiculous. How are men supposed to help us get things done when they insist on doing nothing for entire days at a time? Which leads me to my next item….

#2 The Over-the-Top Effect.
This may be my biggest issue. From my experience, when men decide on an activity they’d like to take part in, it has to be in extreme excess, or not at all. Take this morning, for example. Anson woke up at 5 am on his day off to take advantage of the $35 all-you-can-golf deal at our local course. He just called me. It’s 2:27 and he’s still planning on playing another 18 holes, while I’m at work (guess what?) GETTING SHIT DONE.

#3 The Stupidity Factor.
My husband is a smart man. He’s excelling in graduate school, he can multiply fractions in his head (this is a big thing for me) and he’s surprisingly awesome at Final Jeopardy. So, I ask you, why is it that he turns into a complete neanderthal around Mike? The last time we were all together, Mike actually posed this brilliant question: Would you give up one of your testicles to play one round of golf with Tiger Woods? Sound ridiculous? Apparently, it's a legitimate question because Anson responded at record speed with, “Without a doubt. Yes. No question.” What’s wrong with this picture, girls? I mean, miracle-of-life-producing body part or a day spent getting your ass kicked by the best golfer in the world? Um, yeah. I love you, but you're officially a moron. Thanks. Bye.

Tell me some of you ladies can sympathize with this. Have any of your boyfriends/husbands ever offered up an organ to the golf gods? I'm at a loss.

(Oh, and happy Friday. xo)

1 comment:

Kristin said...

OMG, I am cracking up!!! I can't say Matt would offer up anything below the waist to play golf with Tiger, but his bromances typically involve fishing, camping and copious amounts of alcohol. :)