the ugly truth

Oh hey, friends. After a few days of soaking up the sun in Arizona, I've made it back to the rain and sludge of Baltimore— oh joy, oh bliss. Really, nothing says "Charm City" like weeks upon weeks of gray skies and freezing drizzle, don't ya think?

Anyway, upon my return home on Monday, I was greeted by 45,387 emails, one of which was a baby update from the lovely people at TheBump.com. Holy baby, girls, I only have 76 days left to go! Does this scare the shit out of anyone else but me? Gulp once if you’re with me.

Really, though, I shouldn’t be surprised by this fast-approaching arrival. These last few weeks have been a serious reminder that there is officially a 3-pound tiny human in my stomach. In fact, I remember a day not so long ago when my dear friend Lindsay—ever inquisitive about the bun-cooking process—asked about some of the weird symptoms I’d been experiencing since becoming pregnant. At that stage in the game (about 4 months pregnant), I didn’t have much to report; I wasn’t sick, my pre-pregnancy clothes still fit and I was foolishly inhaling every sugary treat in sight (this would come back to haunt me later)—what was there to complain about?

Anyway Linds, things are a wee bit different these days. Still interested in hearing the dirty details? Not really? Too bad. The hot mess is back and ready to share...

Swollen calves and feet. Oh cankles, I’ve really missed having you in my life these past 27 years. You really do make quite the fashion statement, especially when paired with pasty legs sprinkled with spider veins. Really, the hotness is almost too much to handle.

The Rhogam shot. Ladies, ladies, ladies, I hope you all are fortunate enough to experience this little injection when you’re preggo. Only a small percentage of women have to get it, depending on what your blood type is compared to your husband’s, but let me tell you it really is a treat for the rear. That’s right, this shot is a hard, fast stick to the backside—an ass shot, ladies. An ass shot that I get to receive each and every pregnancy from here on out. Again, oh joy, oh bliss.

Baby limbs taking up residence in your ribs. This has got to be my fave. What’s better than body parts lodged between your bones, right? How about body parts lodged between your bones for days at a time? Baby boy, sweetness, sunshine of my very existence…I really do love feeling your little kicks and flutters day in and day out, but this position just isn’t working out for mom. Let’s just say it really makes sleeping…and sitting…and walking…and, well, breathing a chore. May I remind you that we still have 76 days left to peacefully coexist in the same body (my body, mind you), so kindly remove your foot from the left side of my rib cage, little man. Good day.

So, there you have it. The highlights of month seven. And just in case you weren’t jealous already, I leave you with this 29-week beauty shot:

All aboard the hot tamale train! Choo! Choo!


Newly Nalevanko said...

You're as beautiful as ever! Keep the details coming, sar! I can't get enough.

J. Trigiani said...

You look so cute Sara!! You may not believe me at this point, but you will miss these days. I love my daughter more than words, but there are some days when I do miss being pregnant and feeling her moving and kicking.

Hope you continue to feel good throughout the next 76 days! It does go by fast and the few weeks afterward he's born isn't much better, but enjoy it!!

The Geary's said...

I think you look awesome and not to worry! Cankles go away after birth;-) I will say, the rib thing only got worse for me since I never "dropped," but it is all SO worth it!

Katie Farmand said...

Yayyyyyy the picture made me smile so big! I love it. You're gorgeous, even if you feel like a hot mess. Love you, love you, love you! I can't wait to hear more, and eventually meet little Sam. xoxo

Kristin said...

You are so funny. And cute. And you look absolutely fantastic! You wear pregnancy well, my friend. :) xoxo

1EyedBartender, OneEyedBartender said...

sara, you are the cutest pregnant woman ever!! love it!

sis and sis said...

oh baby belly, i just love you. keep the pictures and flutter details coming. february 16 can't get here soon enough, mama brownie.

Janet Scott said...

I like ham.
And I like jam.
I do not like either Spam or lamb.
But I totally love my Sam-I-am.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!