a little love note on your 181st day.

Dear Sam,

Today you turn 6 months old. Seriously, where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday that I was pacing around our apartment, watching in disbelief as more than 3 feet of snow fell outside my door, willing you to wait just a few more days before you made your grand debut. Now, 181 days later, I can't imagine there ever being a time where I didn't want you right here with me, come rain, shine or Snowmageddon 2010.

Last night, I was lying in bed, trying to think of a way to put my crazy obsession with you into words, and I kept going back to the night you were born. Needless to say, the day had been a bit of a rough one for momma. And after a couple hours of passing you around to your grandparents and taking breaks to shuffle to the bathroom to try and pee (glamorous, I know), we were finally taken to our room where we'd be staying for the next 2 days. By the time we got settled and I found a comfortable position for my rear end (jealous?) it was after midnight, but who could sleep? I had just delivered the most perfect angel of a baby boy ever. (I told you I was a bit crazy when it came to you. Always have been. Always will be. Get used to it.)

Anyway....a few hours (and a few "what the hell am I supposed to do?!?" moments) later, the nurse came back to take you for some "tests." (Looking back, this could very well have been a ploy to get us to give it a rest and hand you over to the pros. Wow, we were clueless.) Anyway, she asked if we wanted her to bring you back when she was finished, or if we'd rather you go and sleep in the nursery in the company of the other sweet babes. Everyone had told us, when given this option, to TAKE IT. This could quite possibly be the last time we would have uninterrupted sleep for months. So, at 2:30 in the morning, wrapped up tight in the burrito which you would come to love, you were wheeled away. And we slept. Hard.

But, at around 5, I woke up, literally sitting straight up in bed. It felt like the best Christmas morning I had ever experienced. I whispered over to your dad, "Babe, let's go get him." And "go get him" we did.

I wrapped myself up in my ridiculous hot pink bathrobe, clutched your dad's arm, and we started what seemed like the endless walk to the nursery. Slowly, we crept down the hallway, passed the nurses station, where they all gave us a knowing smile. (Something tells me they'd seen this routine before.) Finally, after what seemed like hours, we arrived at the nursery. But, before going in to snatch you up, we simply stood at the window, holding hands and staring at you. Our beautiful little boy. Seriously, I have a lump in my throat just thinking about that moment. That was the culmination of, hands down, the happiest day of my life.

And do you know what? Six months later we're actually more nutso about you than we were then. In fact, every night before going to bed, we carefully open your creaky bedroom door and tiptoe in to peek in at you. Just like that morning in the nursery, we stand there next to each other, just staring in wonder. Really, now that I think about it, we're just legal stalkers. Officially crazed and obsessed lunatics. Guilty as charged.

Really, though, Sam, I'm just so in love with you. Every day I inevitably have a moment where I feel completely out of my league, and every day you inevitably make me feel like we were absolutely meant to be together and that I'm not completely screwing you up. In fact, when you start scooting, and a laughing, and smiling like crazy, it makes me feel like you might be a little bit in love with me, too.

Happy half birthday, Bugs.



Newly Nalevanko said...

Oh Sammy! Happy 1/2 birthday! You're getting so big, and flexible too!

Kristin said...

This post made me get teary eyed. And then I watched the video and wanted to eat his cheeks. I think I have some horomone imbalance issues. :) xoxo Happy 1/2 year Sam!

Si Si said...

Oh Sara that is the sweetest tribute to Sam's arrival. Loved the video!! So happy I got to see him perform his rollover. He sure does get excited!

Janet Scott said...

Mr. Knickerbocker, you make Nanny and Scotty laugh out loud. That heavy breathing, Sam.... seriously! We wish you would say 1/2 forever and ever. xoxox

The Geary's said...

Sara, you brought tears to my eyes! Happy 6 months, Sam I Am;-)

lb817 said...

Oh Sam! I love you at 6 months and I can't wait to love you even more in the next 6 months. You make your Auntie Lor swell up with emotions, especially when your mom gushes so :).