8.10.2011

a situation.


Oh, friends. Do you remember this post from last summer? Because I do. I remember it all too well.

Oh, the swaddle blanket. The magical, addicting, altogether EVIL swaddle blanket. In case you've forgotten, let me refresh your memory: For the first four months of Sam's life I was a shameless slave to the swaddle blanket. Seriously, it was a problem. If I didn't have a swaddle with me and Sam needed to sleep, fugetabouit! Honestly, you could drown the kid in white noise, warm milk and intravenous drugs, but if you didn't have him wrapped up in the baby burrito maker, sleep was not in the equation.

It was a sad state of affairs. You know, having your entire life revolve around a piece of fabric.

Fast forward fifteen months. Now you'd think such a silly dependency would be a distant memory by now, right? That Anson and I would be sitting around, having a good laugh over such a crazy addiction. "Oh honey, isn't it just hysterical to look back on how nutso we were with that dreaded swaddle blanket?" (Chuckle chuckle.) "What a ridiculous situation that was! It was like our entire well-being revolved around a silly piece of fleece!" (Giggle giggle.) "We're so much wiser now! Goodness knows we'll never let that happen again!" (Yackity yack yack.)

Riiiggghhhtttt.

The thing is, "that" is exactly what is happening to us all over again. Yep, it looks like Sam has found his one true love at age 18 months: the blankie. And not just any blankie, but the Gator blankie.

Made by Anson's stepmom, Sandy, back when Sam was a projectile-vomiting machine, the Gator blankie is just one of about 173 barf rags that Sandy lovingly decorated and sent our way during the first few months of Sam's life. It's very darling, adorned with a Florida Gator patch and orange and blue polka dot ribbon, but let me be clear, friends -- it's a BARF RAG. Pay no mind to the gorgeous, handmade quilts that Sandy spent weeks of her life designing, patching and sewing before gifting to Sam. Nope, instead our son has taken to a 12-inch piece of diaper cloth that's routinely spewn on, spilled on and -- you guessed it -- peed on.

Sam "Personal Hygiene is For The Birds" Brown, your table is now available!

And let me be clear -- the kid has not simply "taken to" this charming little piece of sour-smelling gauze. God help you if it leaves his line of vision for more than five minutes. Seriously, contact the Academy and grab your box of Sour Patch Kids because homeboy is about to deliver the "Best Actor" performance of a lifetime!

Hence the odor.

Hence the filth.

Hence the "situation" at hand.

Forget the lovies and cute stuffed animals. Hell, I'd even take a good old-fashioned pacifier at this stage in the game. But what can you do? The kid likes what he likes. And what can I say? If he's going to parade around town clutching a barf rag, at least it's a Gator rag. Am I right or am I right? Grasping at straws? Certainly. But undoubtedly right.

4 comments:

Janet Scott said...

That thing is seriously disgusting. Having said that, make sure you pack it when you bring "Sam personal hygiene is for the birds Brown" over for the weekend. The boy definitely has his quirks and I am thrilled to support (and maybe even encourage) them. xo

Si Si said...

Amazing that he would attach to the GATOR burp cloth!!!! Isn't it - wink wink!!! Glad I could send back ups last week!! I have something even better in store for him when he arrives in Spfld. early Sept.!! Just a little something to ensure he enjoys his crib time at the Brown's crib!! Good Luck this weekend J!!!

J. Trigiani said...

No worries. We used the Halo Swaddle Sleep Sack with Taylor and because she was so tall, we had to remove the sleep sack and just use the swaddle. She still wanted to be swaddled at 10 months old, even though two minutes after we swaddled her she would break free. But she wouldn't sleep without it. And now, at two, she's still walking around with her swaddle, and like Sam, she won't let it out of her sight. We have a spare too, just in case, but she doesn't want anything to do with that one since it's not old and dirty like the other one.

Rkoepp said...

Hate to say it, Sara, but I think it's kinda cute! He cuddles up to it so sweetly. He's just so darn adorable.