10.13.2011

a few random thoughts.

Oh hey girl. And by "girl," I mean Kate Kreager.

Oh hey, friends. I'm currently missing The X Factor to lounge on the couch while my husband flips between watching the Cardinals and the Caps games. (Can you say "Wife of the Year" award?!)

Translation: I'm bored out of my mind.

Solution: random-thought blog time.

1. Being almost 36 weeks pregnant just two weeks before Halloween should be illegal. I mean, honestly, Costco. Lay the smack down and keep the 20-pound bags of chocolatey goodness away from the pregnant lady, would ya? Seriously, if my memory serves me, I was plowing my way through the bag, head first, before we even got to the check out. But, then again, I'm currently sitting here in a Reese's-induced sugar coma, so maybe that public display of STUFFING MY FACE was just a bad-slash-amazing dream.

2. Do you guys watch Parenthood? Sure, sure, Lauren Graham plays one of the main characters, which means the show if filled with entirely-too-fast, stop-talking-over-other-people, no-one-actually-uses-these-words-in-real-life dialogue, but the music is amazeballs. I mean, last week they pull out "Falling Slowly" from Once, and then last night there's Ryan Adams and Iron & Wine together in one episode? And did I mention this is all playing in the background during a scene where one couple is in the hospital having a baby girl? Um yeah, how's an over-emotional crazy woman supposed to soothe herself in this situation? Oh I know -- eat 20 pounds of Halloween candy!

3. Speaking of crazy woman....I'm sorry to say that after eight months of level-headed conduct (if I do say so myself), the "It's my baby and I'll go GLADIATOR on your ass!" behavior has finally made its appearance in the form of lunatic-level nesting. Yep, after months and months of being all, "The second time around is soooooo much different. I'm soooooo laid back and casual about everything. I mean, really, what's there to worry about? I'm an old pro at this stuff, and whenever baby girl decides to get here, everything will just fall into place. Really, it's going to be cake!," I decided to wake up one morning last week, shake Anson furiously, and scream, "For the love of god, we're having a baby in 35 days!! What the hell were you thinking letting me sit around and eat Tostitos all day and not do ANYTHING?!? I'm the Worst. Mother. Ever. And PS. You're the worst father ever for just standing by and letting this happen!"

Oh friends, it hasn't been pretty. But now, after a few marathon trips to Target, Babies R Us, Buy Buy Baby and Carter's, I'm feeling a bit more under control. Now if only I could gain control of the tiny human that insists on right jabbing me in the pelvic bone 73 times a day. And round-house kicking me in the left rib on a regular basis. What's that you say? Maybe I should lay off the sugar so my baby girl isn't spending every waking hour jacked up on Kit Kat's? I'm sorry, I must've heard you wrong. You wouldn't say that to the self-proclaimed crazy woman, would you? I didn't think so.

5. And on a lighter note.....have you seen this? Really, what's not to love?

5 comments:

Brielle said...

Haha spot-on description of Lauren Graham/Gilmore Girls style dialogue.. I distinctly remember my dad walking in when my sister and I used to watch the show and the look on his face as he realized he could only catch every third word was priceless.

Si Si said...

Hey girl! I was going to give you a call to see how things were going but this pretty much sums it up! Have another Reeses (or two) for me!! xoxo

Janet Scott said...

Sally let me in on a new expression for "no-one-ever-uses-these-words-in-real-life" scenarios. Simply say, "would you unload that sentence for me?". Love it! That will be a valuable tool in my un-thesaurused bag of tricks.

On a more general note, I think this is your funniest blog. Ever. I am reminded of my own thirty-six weeks, what the hell, days of yore. If you can't eat it, I don't want it!

You are a funny mother with a funny little kid and funny is always good. xoxoxox

The Gearys said...

Try being on bed rest and still eating the amount of crap that one shouldn't consume. At this point, I am just trying to fatten up my baby in case she comes too early:-) You can use that mentality, too (not the early, just the fattening.)
Besides, we will be shoving more carbolicious items in our mouths on Sunday and carbs are good for you, right:-)

kate said...

Thanks for the Gosling shout-out. He loves me and I love him. Oh i love u too and your brilliant musings.